IV: Are you contributing to a Toxic Work Environment?
Have you ever paused to think, "Did someone just say that?" Or you might notice someone’s mood varies daily, leaving you unsure how to interact with them or they constantly leave you with a pit in your stomach either before or after you see them. Or you work hard on a project, only to see someone else take credit? They might bully, belittle, and manipulate as their tactics in life. These dynamics, whether in personal or professional relationships, can be frustrating. Let’s focus on the workspace, where people invest most of their time and energy.
Over the years, I have been in toxic environments at school, volunteer organizations and yes at my workplace. I always believe it’s the people we interact with in these situations that create that environment. The one thing I have realized and experienced is that people who create the toxic environment usually have big egos and seem to think they are invincible, so they continue act this way. So, what types of behaviors assist in creating a toxic environment?
Here is a list from my experiences:
Talk badly about everyone and everything. One example, I recently encountered someone talking about the fun committee at work and how it really shows the character of the people within that committee with an eye roll. In my mind as I tried to walk away was these people are trying to make your life fun, why would you already have something against that type of committee. But also, beware of these people if they are talking about everyone, that includes you! One thing I always love to say there is a difference between venting about something/someone vs purposefully going after someone’s character.
The individual will find allies in their criticism of others by exploiting insecurities and boosting egos. For instance, if someone is mentored by an experienced individual, the person trying to create the rift may suggest that the mentee is equal to the mentor and should perform their job. This tests boundaries while inflating the mentee's ego.
The person may take credit for other people’s work in order to make themselves look greater. Examples could include project ideas, documentation creation and overall work function. If you ever share an idea with this person, make sure to get it in writing but also know people’s true colors come out.
Retaliation is a big thing. If you do something that makes them upset, they will do something to either try to make you look bad or they will punish you. I had a coworker that stood up and tried to create boundaries and then the boss decided that was a prime time to take away a project they loved.
There is a saying empowered women empower women. This will not be the case, it can be any gender, I just resonate with that phrase since all my bosses have been women! A boss will try to take away your shine by making you question your capabilities, keep growth from happening and competition with you instead of rooting for you. Beware of bosses like this, it is important your own growth to have a boss with good intentions.
Isolation. They will make you feel unwelcome and exclude you from necessary work meetings, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere. They might be engaged enthusiastically in a conversation but fall silent when you enter, whisper, or make faces with another person hoping you'll notice, without drawing attention from others. They may try to pit people against you or try to get friends to basically unfriend you in real life.
The list could go on and on. There is a lot of traits that help create a toxic environment but how do you deal with them?
Quit - You could just decide to walk away from the environment and choose yourself but also a peace of mind.
Distance yourself from those people or environments when you can.
Stand up for yourself (and others). This could be reporting to HR. Just note, going to HR could help resolve or do nothing also. Just beware. Or it could mean confronting this person.
Start recording conversations if you feel uncomfortable and make sure to keep a paper trail. Both of these things will give you receipts but also empower you.
There is a lot of toxic people in this world that do choose to bully, belittle and depower people. Maybe it’s their own insecurities playing or maybe they do just think they are better than everyone else. Who knows… but we all have a decision every day on how we choose to treat others, so everyday make sure you are treating others with respect, kindness and care. You don’t have to be friends with everyone but chose civility over drama.
